A recent encounter I had brought to light the importance of effective communication. It also demonstrated how easily a simple problem can become complex when we use an ‘inflexible’ style of communication. The incident happened at the local post office between two sales associates and me. A few weeks ago, I signed up for a P.O. Box for my company. As is often the case, I misplaced the receipt a few days later. Several hours of searching the house was unsuccessful and I finally admitted defeat.
So off I went to the post office. I told the two associates my dilemma and that I needed another receipt for income tax purposes. The sales associates were not impressed. I was met with comments like: “We don’t that”, “we don’t just randomly print receipts”, and “it’s the customer’s responsibility to take care of their receipt after the purchase”. I wasn’t too happy either. I replied with comments like: “How complicated can it be to print a receipt?” and “why can’t you just give me something in writing?”.
Despite my pleas, I could see we weren’t going anywhere. Just before turning around and leaving, I tried one last thing. I told the two people that my P.O. Box address was written on the receipt and I hadn’t written it down anywhere else. Could they at least print something with the address written on it? Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to use the P.O. Box at all. This time, they saw some logic in my reasoning. Sure enough, they had all my information on their computer and it took them less than a minute to print the sheet. When I looked at the printout, I realized there was a lot more information on it than I had asked for. In addition to the address, there was the type of P.O. Box I ordered (business / personal), the dimensions of the box, the expiry date, and at the top, the transaction date and the amount I paid; in other words: a receipt.
Later when I thought about this curious incident, I realized what had happened. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t communicate clearly. Rather, my communication only yielded results once I changed the message to better suit the people on the receiving end. When I first asked for a second receipt, the associates immediately became defensive. The word ‘receipt’ to them represented something very official and sacred. It was something that could only be given in certain situations. I was asking them to do something outside of normal protocols: print a receipt in the absence of a transaction. Only when I changed my request from ‘printing a receipt’ to ‘giving me something with my P.O. Box address written on it’ were they willing to even consider a way of helping me.
The lesson here is this: when communicating, we should always keep in mind the person on the receiving end. We will have much better success of getting 0ur point across if we change our communication style to match that of the receiver. If the other person is reserved and shy, don’t be too aggressive in trying to get your point across. If they’re analytical, use facts and figures to give them what they need. If they’re outgoing, strike up a conversation before saying what you had in mind. In my case: avoid using ‘official’ sounding words with a sales associate if I am requesting something outside of ‘official protocol’. Keeping the person on the receiving end in mind makes the difference between communicating to express yourself and communicating to get results.
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